“Can you squeeze me into an empty page of your diary …?”

It’s Morrissey and The Smiths season here in Manchester. What fine fare the city has to offer to the discerning apostle over the coming weeks …

First up is the return of ‘Maladjusted’, the Morrissey/Smiths evening to be re-launched with alacrity and panache at that glorious drinking emporium, Gullivers of Oldham Street on Friday 19th of November.

As ever, the playlist will be primarily Morrissey/Smiths, supplemented with other Morrissey-endorsed music including …

The Courteeners - The Strokes - The Libertines - Angelic Upstarts - The Slits - David Bowie - T.Rex - Roxy Music - Siouxsie And The Banshees - Buzzcocks - The Marvelettes - The Crystals - Dusty Springfield - Shangri La's - X-Ray Spex - Sandie Shaw - Lou Reed - James - New York Dolls - Elvis Presley - The Ramones - Sparks - Magazine - Iggy Pop - The Stooges - The Velvet Underground - The Cookies - The Kinks - The Jam - Mott the Hoople - Eddie Cochran – Gene … and more.

That would be something of a dream do even without Steven Patrick.

Entry is an insultingly meagre £2 from 9pm till 2am. Facebook page right here. Come and dance your legs down to the knees ...

Next up it’s only the publishing event of the year. Remember I mentioned that very special book? Well we’re having a launch party and you’re all invited! The event is on Friday 26th of November at Waterstone’s Deansgate, and will be chaired by local DJ, author, musical luminary and all-round good egg Mr Dave Haslam, plus very special guest Simon Goddard, yes he of Songs That Saved Your Life and Mozipedia. And even I will say a little something too. 'Hello and welcome' mainly. (I’ll have it written on little cards, don’t worry …)

The evening will include:

• Drinks from 6.30 pm in Waterstone’s plush newly-refurbished bar

• Panel event to commence from 7 pm

• Readings from contributing authors

• Panel discussion on the book, pop culture, and all things Smiths and Morrissey

• Audience question and answer session

• Opportunity to meet authors and have books signed

• Post-panel drinks in Waterstone’s bar with Smiths-inspired soundtrack

• After party in TV21, basement bar, Thomas St

Entry to the event is a mere £3 + booking fee. Facebook page here. Tickets are essential and are available now right HERE.

Look forward to seeing you all there!

And there’s time for one more fix before Christmas. Viva Morrissey, the world’s only musical tribute to Morrissey as solo artist, will take the stage at Moho Live for one of their trademark emotionally enriching and exhaustive sets. A fantastically tight band with the dextrous and faithful vocal talents of singer Paul up front. The gig will be followed by dancing to Moz/Smiths music and the like till the early hours at no extra cost.

For musical links and fan page, go to Facebook, here.

Get your tickets for this rabble rouser here.

And remember ...

“Nothing is important, so people, realising that, should get on with their lives, go mad, take their clothes off, jump in the canal, jump into one of those supermarket trolleys, race around the supermarket and steal Mars bars and kiss kittens ...”